Game review 79: Cup Final
Dodgy pitch? One-dimensional kick-and-rush tactics? Yes, it’s definitely the 80s again.
The football season has returned.
It never ends; nowadays, we’re left with the grudging reality that once again Man City‘s petrodollars will earn them another Premier League win, while Real Madrid’s state-enhanced funding will sweep the board at a European level.
So, we’ll go back to basics to the 80s. A more innocent time for football. Well, it you ignore all the hooliganism. Actually, thinking about it, it was all a bit horrible. But at least we got a plethora of tabletop football playthings out of the era.
Once such item is Peter Pan Playthings’ Cup Final. Stripping everything back to the basics, apart from the merchandise-flogging advertising boards, it’s a game that takes the 11-a-side rules and throws them in the bin. What we’re left with are three players each - a keeper, defender and attacker - and a two-colour ball that, depending on which side up it lands, signifies whose turn it is.
My copy is an absolute mess. Age has not been kind on the pitch, sections of which have flaked away as the years have passed and it feels slightly shrunken.
The goals are not in the best condition either, but are usable. Plus the players look like they’ve headed the ball one to many time, but their misshapen look is more the fault of the production process rather than any withering qualities of old age.
But nonetheless, like the other 19 teams in the English top flight, we’ll persevere headlong into the adversity.
There’s a charming toy quality to the player pieces that E enjoys a lot. The movable button-pressing outfielders and twisting keeper throw actions are intrinsically fun.
But unlike Subbuteo, Cup Final is more a game of luck than pure skill. The two-faced ball mechanic means a lot of luck is involved in which side up it lands.
As such, the defender piece is more or less redundant, useful only for blocking shots - its bent kicking leg rolls pathetically along the ground compared to the striker’s more powerful air-bound punt. Why would you use the defender when it could mean the football rolling close to your own goal wrong side up when you could use the attacker to either have a shot at goal or get play up the other end to safety.
It’s all quite one-dimensional and after my nostalgic memories of the game has passed and E’s got over flinging the ball up the pitch via the goalie’s arms, we both lose interest.
Dodgy pitch? One-dimensional kick and rush tactics? Yes, it’s definitely the 80s again. Nostalgic memories probably mean you liked the Cup Final of yesteryear, but the past is probably where it should stay.
Game facts and stats
Age
6+
Year first published
1980
Publisher
Peter Pan Playthings
Designer
Uncredited
Player count
2
E’s review
What do you like best about the game?
“It was so good and I love that we can twist his head and move them and kick them by pressing a button on them. And I love that little ball.”
Is it tricky?
“Yeah, a little bit. And I did lose but that’s alright actually.”
99/10
My review
Set-up time
Those advertising boards are a faff. About 10-15 minutes
Price
I got this for about £20, having lost my original copy in some attic clear-out or another. It may cost more for a rare copy in decent condition.
Practicality
The box is too big. And it’s likely that it’ll be hard to find a copy in good condition where the pitch hasn’t been eaten by moths and the players are in working condition with a full complement of limbs.
Fun for parents
They may remember this from childhood, but varied gameplay requiring strategic Pep Guardiola in-game thinking is rather lacking. This is one for collectors only, rather than something that you can dig out at a game’s night to impress and dazzle your chums.